I am Pius Chims, a Nigerian man in my forties, and I write Older Men’s Life for the men who raised us. I trained as a chemical engineer, and I am also skilled in graphic design and book production. None of that is why I started this site, though; four men from my own family are the real reason.
My father, a gentleman and a family man
My father was a humble gentleman who was also deeply masculine, and he raised us with love and firm discipline.
From him I learned grooming, dressing well, humility, emotional intelligence, integrity, etiquette, and good manners.
His own fashion sense was average, but the lessons he gave me about grooming have stayed with me for life.
At 81, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and had surgery, but he did not survive, and he passed away in 2018.
My grandfather, the palm wine tapper
My maternal grandfather was a palm wine tapper who married two wives, and my mother was the daughter of his second wife.
He was not rich and had no formal education, but he was a good and deeply human grandfather.
Every other month, my siblings and I visited his house, and he cut our hair himself.
From him I learned a great deal about grandfatherhood and what grandchildren need from the older men in their lives.
He died in a road accident while riding his bicycle along an expressway.
My uncle, the silver fox
One of my uncles is a tall, handsome man with a full white beard, the kind people call a silver fox.
Unlike my father, he is deliberate about fashion, and he still turns heads whenever he walks into a room.
Watching him taught me that style has no age limit and that a well-dressed older man commands quiet respect.
My other uncle, and the side of aging we rarely discuss
My other uncle lives with a mental health condition, and his life has been emotionally hard for him and for those who love him.
He married, had three sons, and he needs constant support from his family.
We love him deeply, and he reminds me that old age also includes illness, dependence, and struggles people prefer to hide.
Why I write
These four men gave me different lessons, and together they showed me both the dignity and the hardship of growing old.
I write to help older men live happier, fuller lives, free from loneliness and regret.
I also write for younger men, so they can prepare for old age before it arrives.
I am not a doctor or financial advisor, so I share what I have witnessed and back expert claims with trusted sources.
If one of these stories reminds you of a man in your own family, write to me at hello@oldermenslife.com.
You can also learn more about the mission behind the Older Men’s Life project.
Pius Chims